Young people today are far more tech-savvy than most adults. They use their smartphones and tablets with a speed and ease that seems second nature – but that doesn’t mean they know how to navigate the online world responsibly. – Sutton Burke, Owner and Clinical Director of Infinite Mindcare
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There is no arguing that the internet offers more ways to socialise, learn and connect online than many of us could have imagined 10 or 20 years ago. But it also presents more potential risks, particularly for young, impressionable minds, than anyone could have foreseen.
In addition to the very real possibility that children and adolescents may encounter harmful content such as pornographic or violent images and videos, misinformation, self-harm and suicide content, cyberbullying, sexting and, most recently, 'sextortion', there is also the question of what effect unfettered access to such powerful technology is having at a crucial time in young people’s development.
The younger generations who have grown up with smartphones may be considered 'digital natives', but that doesn’t necessarily mean they are 'digitally literate'. As parents, it is our duty to keep our children safe, and teaching them to use their devices and navigate the online world responsibly has become an essential part of raising happy, resilient children.
Here, we will look at the issues and what we, as adults and caregivers, can do to minimise the risks.
Are Smartphones Rewiring Young Minds?
It cannot be mere coincidence, Jonathan Haidt argues in his book, The Anxious Generation, that since the early 2010s – when smartphones replaced flip phones and the internet went high speed – rates of anxiety and depression among the generation that grew up with these technologies have skyrocketed. Self-harm and suicide among young girls rose dramatically in that decade, loneliness also spiked, and academic achievement declined.
Where previously children used to play with friends after-school, now they go home and scroll on their phones. In the developed world, over 90% of children have a smartphone by age 11, and teenagers report spending anything from five to nine hours a day on their phones, mostly on social media.
Not only are they missing out on physical activity, spending time outdoors and exploring the world around them, they are missing out on human connection. Yes, they may be gaming, texting or messaging with friends, but that does not replace face-to-face interactions. In fact, in a US poll, teenagers reported using their phones to 'avoid social interaction'.
In-person socialising, it seems, has become uncomfortable and anxiety-inducing for young people. This, it has been argued, is because real-world interactions, which occur in real time, require us to read body language, tone of voice and facial expressions, to practice timing and conversation turn-taking, and to be sensitive to the many nuances of human relationships. But for young people who converse largely online, these subtleties are missing, which is making them feel awkward about face-to-face socialising and it is impacting their emotional intelligence and resilience. The rise in calls for trigger warnings and safe spaces is evidence of just how difficult young people are finding navigating the real world.
The brain is also undergoing profound changes during adolescence. This is when young people start to develop their sense of self and form attachments with people other than their parents – generally their peers or those they spend time with online. At the same time that they are developing their own individual identity, they also feel an intense need to fit in and be accepted by their peers. And in the digital age, fitting in or being popular is measured in likes, followers, comments and shares.
The parts of the brain that control decision-making, impulse control and risk assessment are not fully developed in adolescents, explains Sutton Burke, Owner and Clinical Director of Infinite Mindcare. They are more likely to take risks because it feels rewarding, and they are not able to think through the consequences of their actions. Risky behaviour comes with the added bonus of peer approval – especially when it takes place, or is shared, online. This explains why this is the age group that is most likely to engage in cyberbullying and social media challenges, to share or post explicit content, or to view content promoting self-harm.
On the flip side, when young people do not find the attention and approval they crave on social media, anxiety and depression can follow. Equally, the constant exposure to the curated, idealised versions of others’ lives encourages young people to compare themselves to those they see online, resulting in them feeling inadequate or fearing they are missing out, which also leads to anxiety and low self-esteem.
But even if smartphones are a major contributor to the mental health issues so many children and adolescents are experiencing, taking phones away from an age group that desperately wants to fit in with their peers is clearly not the answer. However, just as we would not let teenagers jump in a car and drive without careful instruction beforehand, we should not hand over digital devices without ensuring young people know how to use them safely and responsibly. So how can we do that?
Helpful Tip
The Alex Panton Foundation is a Non-Profit Organisation with the primary objective of raising awareness of mental illnesses affecting children and young adults in the Cayman Islandswith a particular focus on anxiety and depression.
Establish Ground Rules
Keep an open dialogue
Talking about smartphone use and the potential pitfalls of the internet should be part of the daily conversation. Rather than sitting young people down for a 'big talk’, make discussing online content and interactions an ongoing conversation, so that they know they can seek your advice if they feel troubled or uncomfortable with what they encounter online.
Screen time
Establish appropriate time limits for younger children’s use of digital devices or negotiate screen time as conditional on outdoor activity, completion of homework or chores. While it may be almost impossible to control how much time adolescents spend online, there can certainly be house rules such as no phones at meal times or no phones in certain parts of the home, to encourage offline conversation and quality family time.
Social media
Most social media platforms do not allow users younger than 13 to open an account, but it only takes entering a fake age to get around this. Some parents make it a condition that if their child wishes to have social media accounts, they must friend one or both parents so that you can monitor their online activity.
Privacy and passwords
Again, depending on the age of your child, you may make it a condition of their screen use that you know their passwords and check their privacy settings.
Encourage integrity
Teach children to be respectful and compassionate online as well as offline. While it can be easy to speak harshly or make fun of someone online, remind your child that these are real people who can be just as hurt by online comments as face-to-face ones. Encourage them to think before they post and remind them that every comment leaves a digital footprint (read on for more information).
Model healthy internet habits
Actions speak louder than words, so demonstrate responsible online behaviour yourself. Be present and engaged – not distracted by your phone – and model healthy face-to-face communication when talking to your children or sitting down for dinner. Be open about the sites and apps you like, but also talk about the aspects you don’t like. Show them how to distinguish between ads and content, and between credible sources and unverified information or misinformation.
The Mechanics of the Internet
Teaching young people to use the internet responsibly also means ensuring they understand how it works and what the inherent dangers are. Explain the following:
No app is truly free
Google, Instagram, TikTok and other popular apps are not just there for your entertainment. Behind the fun reels, stories and photos are massive profit-driven corporations. These businesses have designed their algorithms to keep you on their site because it allows them to gather endless data on what you do online and on your likes and dislikes, which they then sell to third parties who use it to push targeted ads into your feed.
Once online, forever online
Every selfie, video or post you put online stays online in some form. Your selfies can be saved by others, digitally manipulated, and reposted, and even Snapchat snaps (designed to disappear after a set amount of time) can be screenshotted by others. It is therefore, almost impossible to control what happens to what you put online. Even if you delete personal content from your own accounts, there is no controlling what others who see it may do with it. Think very carefully before sharing anything (especially intimate photos) online.
Consider your digital footprint
Every like and comment, every photo you share and every video you post leaves a digital footprint. Even if it seems like harmless fun now, those footprints build your online reputation. In the future, colleges and potential employers will most likely look you up online to find out more about you, so any dubious footprint you leave now could harm your prospects in years to come.
Cultivate critical thinking
Just because you read, listen to or watch something online does not mean it is true. The content on platforms like YouTube, Instagram and TikTok is user-generated. This means anyone can post videos online and they are under no obligation to ensure they are accurate. Cultivate a healthy scepticism and do not assume that the news, advice or 'facts' you find on social media are true, no matter how many followers or shares the person or organisation publishing them has.
Protect your privacy
The best way to protect yourself from scams and unwanted contact requests is to use your privacy settings. Most social media apps have privacy settings that allow you to limit who can see your account and activities. It is a good idea to limit who can see your information to your contacts, or even a select group of friends you know in real life. It is also critical to not share your address, phone number or other personal details on social media sites.
Online strangers are still strangers
Just because a stranger is online and not physically with you, does not mean they cannot harm you. Be very wary of friend requests from people you do not know in real life. Remember that behind the attractive profile photo of someone of a similar age to you, may lie a very different human being. This is how online predators first connect with young people who they may then attempt to groom, exploit or radicalise. If someone makes you feel uncomfortable, block them.
The internet and social media are not going anywhere – but we don’t yet know how they may evolve. As parents we must do our best to stay abreast of changes and emerging threats, and we must also arm young people with critical thinking skills and guidance to ensure they are alert to online dangers, so that they can use their devices safely, positively and constructively.
What is 'Sextortion’ ?
Sextortion (financially motivated sexual extortion) is a global problem and the number of cases is rising exponentially. In the US, the number of reported cases rose over 150% between 2022 and 2023, with the majority of victims being young men aged 14 to 18.
Typically, the victim is contacted on social media or a dating app, often by someone they think they know (whose account has been hacked), but sometimes by an attractive stranger.
The conversation quickly becomes explicit and the offender may send an intimate photo first before asking the victim to send one in return. Once the offender has the photos, they threaten to release them and blackmail the victim by demanding money to keep the images private. They may demand wire transfers, gift cards or even cryptocurrency.
This is very distressing for the victim, who may feel ashamed and like there is no way out. Tragically, a number of victims have committed suicide as a result of this crime.
It is essential that parents and educators are aware of this problem in order to support young people who are victims. Sextortion should be reported to the police and to organisations such as the Internet Watch Foundation. It is also important not to pay up, as this is unlikely to end the blackmail, and ensure you keep all communication as evidence.
For more information on this subject, and for useful resources, visit: www.missingkids.org/theissues/sextortion.
Helpful Resources
Kiddle (https://www.kiddle.co) is Google’s safe visual search engine. When kids use this they will find only vetted search results presented in an appealing, child-friendly way.
Pikluk and KidRex are child-safe browsers that allow children to search the web but filter out any inappropriate, graphic or violent content.
Custodio and Bark are parental monitoring apps that you can use to block certain websites or apps on your child’s device. They also let you monitor their online activity.
Internet Matters (www.internetmatters.org) has a wealth of information for parents on how to set up devices safely and navigate online issues, as well as advice on internet usage at different ages.
The Internet Watch Foundation (www.iwf.org.uk) works with global partners to find and remove child sexual abuse imagery. They have partnered with childline.co.uk to create a 'Report and Remove' tool where victims of such abuse can report the images and have them removed.
Report Harmful Content (www.reportharmfulcontent.com) assists users in reporting various types of harmful content online and provides links to the correct reporting facilities.
Safer Internet Centre (www.saferinternet.org.uk) provides resources for primary and secondary students, and information for parents to help young people stay safe online
About the Author
Sutton Burke MS LCPC is the Owner and Clinical Director of Infinite Mindcare, a multi-specialty counselling practice in Grand Cayman. With over 10 years of clinical experience, she has a passion for mental health awareness and advocacy, working with difficult-to-treat anxiety disorders, substance abuse, and supporting first responders. Besides Sutton’s therapeutic work, she has been a guest lecturer for multiple universities, and has facilitated workshops and conference talks on different topics both in Cayman and abroad. Sutton is committed to connecting with her clients, continuing education on providing evidence-based treatments, and helping people improve their mental health and truly see the value in their lives. Sutton is also the Cabinet-appointed member of the Cayman Islands Mental Health Commission.
