We asked the Cayman community to share what values they really wanted to teach and inspire in their children, and why. This is what five wonderful parents shared with us on that subject.
Jennifer Woodford
I have three kids, two girls and a boy, and for the larger part of their younger years, I’m not sure that I ever thought much about what values I would like to impart to my children – life was just about getting through each day with us all sane and alive.
It was really the teenage years that brought more reflection and challenged me to think long and hard about the kids we were raising in today's society. When they were babies and children, we taught them kindness, sharing and patience. We constantly encouraged them to listen to others, be respectful, show kindness and recognise how lucky they were to live such beautiful lives. These were really just natural extensions of how we live our lives. When the challenges of the teenage years arrived, our lessons became more intentional.
As teenagers with more adult challenges, we taught/teach them that most of what others say and do is not about you, it’s about them. Don’t take things personally and don’t be offended too easily. Listen and listen again. Look for the middle ground. Share your beliefs, but with kindness and compassion for others and their beliefs. Be nice. Talk about things, all good and bad. Come to the family for love and strength and lean on your family and community. Share your good times, communicate openly with people, give back to your community, tread lightly on our planet and have compassion for others.
With two of my children in early adulthood and one nearing the end of her teenage years, life looks very different to those toddler and baby years, but the challenges remain, at the core, the same. How do we raise good, healthy, kind and decent human beings in this superficial world? I’d like to believe that our examples as parents still guide our kids' moral compass in the home and beyond.
Kirsty O'Sullivan (née Halliday)
I feel empathy is a key value for all humans to learn, and the earlier it is instilled the better. Understanding that not everyone is dealt the same cards, but we can all have compassion for, and kindness to, one another, truly is a great gift and forms the basis of good friendships and healthy human connections for life. Trying to put yourself in other people's shoes, and not assume everyone thinks or feels the same as you in each moment, is something I hope to impart upon my children and for them to take forward throughout their lives.
I also feel that making room for creativity in children spreads and fosters a joy that can be extremely nourishing for all ages. I was always taught that boredom was a good thing as it allows you to think and create your own entertainment, and to this day I still write and create theatre. Using your imagination and creativity taps into a part of the brain that we are using less and less of in our digital age and I think it is good for children (and adults alike) to play and be silly. Reading goes hand-in-hand with that too. Those imagined worlds allow us to escape our own world when needed, or understand someone else’s better. For me, the joy in life lies in the arts, and I hope my children will enjoy them too. I play and read with my daughters as often as I can, and a house filled with laughter and play is a happy home to me. And surely the happier the people, the happier the community at large can be.
Lara Deysel
What a great time in history to be blessed with children to parent! But it's also challenging. Did I say challenging? In every season of life – whether we’re talking about the days of old, the days of our youth or the current day – each generation has faced new challenges to overcome in order to be successful. And that’s where values come in. Our core values, and the ones we teach our children, will be there to sustain us into the next season.
For me, teaching my children the following core values lies at the heart of being the best steward and best parent I can be: 1) Love well – that is, loving Jesus well, loving others well and loving yourself well; 2) Forgive quickly – forgive those around you quickly, don’t hold grudges and forgive yourself too. Be kind to yourself; 3) Kindness – when you have nothing left to give, show kindness. We never really know what is happening in someone else’s world that causes them to react the way they do. We all need to give and receive kindness; and 4) Endurance – sometimes, you’ve got to dig deep, follow through and bring out the grit that lies deep within each one of us. To my surprise, I am now being told by my own children, Ryan (11) and Julia (8), "Momma, you just gotta push through" – and push through we do for there is sunshine on the other side.
Ally Manning
Growing up, my dad valued integrity, authenticity and independence. He nurtured my curiosity and love of nature by taking me on forest walks and outside to play. My parents would demonstrate the value of kindness and compassion by always being kind to others. Love shaped and guided our interactions and now that I have my own child, my love for him engenders all the values I want him to adopt. I believe that instilling a strong value system in children is a gift and a parental duty. Values can provide an unshakeable ethical and moral foundation, a sense of self, and an invisible and intrinsic North Star which guides purpose and decisions. By nurturing a strong bond, creating a warm and safe home environment, building self-esteem, and always coming from a place of love, the values I project will be accepted naturally. By displaying and role modelling the values I want my son to embrace, like empathy, honesty, respect, integrity, kindness, justice and many other important values, he is protected from negative social influences and interactions. These values will provide him with a deep connection to himself, others and the world around him.
Nicoela (Nikki) McCoy
Both my husband, Chris, and I were brought up with the belief that good Christian values are a foundation for a life well lived. So we are teaching our children to hold fast to their faith in God and to always follow Christian principles which include kindness, love, honesty, empathy and respect for others. We want them to contribute and give back to our community and by doing so, bless others and pay it forward whether they stand to benefit or not. We are guiding them to choose their own path in life; to be honest, courageous and true to themselves, but at the same time have fun and enjoy life respectfully while taking care of themselves both physically and mentally.
We hope to inspire in them the positivity of practising humility, working hard and striving to find purpose in life, but at the same time be willing to embrace change and challenges so that they can build resilience and inner strength, and be prepared for life’s adversities. And finally, we are encouraging them to be brave and to find fulfilment in each day with little or much. Raising our boys has also taught us to be open-minded, tolerant and accepting while still holding onto our values.
